Sexual Shadow Work Retreat
Embody Erotic Wholeness by reclaiming the
hidden, rejected & denied aspects of sensuality, eros & sexuality
in community
Apply Now**Limited places available, Application required**
25-31 August - 2025
New Eden, The Netherlands
Before we were told who we had to be—before shame, performance, rejection, or confusion—our erotic nature was simply part of our aliveness. It was curiosity. Play. Sensation. The bliss of touch, the delight of connection, the warmth of being close
Our erotic embodiment was in the most essential way: full of life, freedom, and feeling.
But for many of us, that early innocence was interrupted. Maybe it was punished, shamed, or misinterpreted. Maybe it was violated. Or maybe it simply wasn’t safe to stay that open. So we tightened. We learned to be careful. We disconnected from the very part of ourselves that once knew how to feel without fear.
Reclaiming our sexual shadow is a remembrance of our erotic innocence.
It’s about returning to the part of us that never needed to be fixed in the first place. It’s about untangling eros from shame, allowing desire to coexist with safety, and giving our bodies the space to feel—without needing to perform, justify, or hide.
This kind of reclamation can’t be forced. It’s not about being more sexual. It’s about becoming more free.
And often, it’s profoundly tender.
In the safety of a trauma-informed sanctuary, surrounded by others doing this same work, we invite you to join Maanee Chrystal & Christian Pankhurst to be held in community and write a new story about your sexuality & sensually that involves freedom, joy & aliveness.
Somewhere inside you, there's a wild, soft, aching truth—one that’s longed to be known, touched, and welcomed.
Since we were young—we’ve received subtle and overt messages that to earn love and safety, we must act a certain way. Be good. Be desirable, but not too much. Don’t want too loudly. Don’t be too emotional. Don’t be too sexual. Don’t be too strange.
These messages came from all directions—family systems, culture, religion, media, and the unspoken codes passed down through trauma. Over time, this conditioning taught us which parts of ourselves were acceptable—and which were not.
So we learned to split.
We performed. We repressed.
We orphaned entire parts of ourselves just to belong.
This is the nature of the shadow.
The shadow is the part of our psyche that holds the unseen, rejected, or exiled aspects of who we are. It’s not just our "darkness"—it’s our vitality, our desire, our instinct, our hunger, our power. The parts we had to hide in order to survive.
And because the shadow is unconscious… we don’t always know they’re there.
But they live in us anyway.
In our relationships. In our fantasies. In our kinks and shutdowns. In our fears.
And especially in our sexuality.
The most powerful way to meet the deepest parts of your shame is by being seen, loved, felt & celebrated in community
In this retreat, we invite you to join us in a powerful community immersion where we will sit, feel, remember and reclaim our organic sensuality & sexuality, our erotic innocence & and full embodied aliveness as we explore the sexual shadow.
The sexual shadow is often one of the most hidden and shame-bound aspects of our psyche. It doesn’t loosen its grip through thinking alone. It needs to be witnessed. It needs to be held. It needs space where we can come undone and still belong. That’s why we do this work in community. In a carefully held, trauma-informed space, surrounded by others doing the same brave work, we begin to experience what was never available to us before: safety, honesty, dignity, and deep contact in the places we thought were unlovable. That’s what changes us—not just insight, but connection.
Enter a journey towards erotic wholeness.
The sexual shadow is not just about sexuality—it’s about life force. It's the part of us where unmet longing, suppressed desires, shame, unmetabolized trauma, and powerful truths have been buried. It's where your vitality, your boundaries, your hunger, and your capacity for deep connection live. If we don't look at it, it doesn’t go away—it simply acts out in ways we can’t quite control: through fear of intimacy, chronic disconnection, kink-shame, love addiction, emotional numbness, or the inability to trust ourselves or others. When we do the work to meet our shadow, we stop living in separation. We gain choice. We feel more real, more whole, more connected to who we actually are—and what we actually want. This work isn’t about becoming “more sexual.” It’s about becoming more ourselves.
Over 7 days we will explore
- A deep dive into your own personal & collective sexual shadows
- Powerful & confronting practices & exercises in somatic shadow work
- Circle work
- Nervous system regulation & trauma informed practices to support group & personal safety.
- Somatic Movement practices
- Temple's
- Exploring emergence & the amplified group field
How to access different ranges of our sexual shadow within a group
Trauma Informed Container
This retreat is held by expert trainers along with a team of nervous system informed assistants to create personal & group somatic safety through out the program.
Community Building
The program includes building a supportive community, which will not only help you in your personal growth but also provide lifelong relationships and mentors.
Challenging narratives around leadership- through the practice of embodied leadership
Since our trainings center on embodied leadership, the entire team—including both facilitators and assistants—actively participates in the therapeutic process as apart of the way they teach and hold the space. We work to dismantle hierarchy within leadership and function as a cohesive, group organism. .
Who is this training for?
If you've ever felt like no matter how much inner work you've done... there's a part of you that's still numb, ashamed, or secretly aching for freedom in your sexuality — this retreat will change your life.
You’ve tried to "fix" this part of yourself.
You’ve read the books, done the therapy, maybe even tried Tantra… but something still feels locked inside.This 7 Day retreat is tailored for those who are " already on the path" but ready to open to healing within a community setting.
- Seekers of Depth in Practice: Practitioners who are not satisfied with surface-level techniques and are seeking a more profound, embodied approach to transformation and healing.
- Ready for a Challenge: Individuals who are not daunted by the intensity of deep personal and professional work and are ready to commit to an immersive, transformative experience.
- Willing to Be Vulnerable: Individuals who are open to exploring and sharing their own process, understanding that vulnerability is a strength.
- This retreat is not for those who have active and unresolved sexual trauma and trauma in general. More details in the application form
Your guides
Maanee Chrystal Lynn Joy
Maanee is a Somatic Psychotherapist, Dance Therapist, Somatic Integrative Teacher & Erotic Educator. With her innate capacity for deep feeling and sensing, Maanee weaves together a tapestry of modalities including shadow work, somatics, trauma resolution, nervous system health, dance therapy, non-duality, eco-somatics, embodied leadership, sensuality & the erotic.
As the visionary founder of The Somatic Institute for Women, Maanee has created a sanctuary for women seeking to reclaim their power and embodiment. Her year-long teacher trainings on somatics for women have empowered and educated nearly 300 students, equipping them with the tools to become somatic educators themselves & her school holds over 80,000 students worldwide.
Outside of the Institute, Maanee runs Shadow Work Facilitator trainings in Europe each summer & is at the beginning stages of starting her ecological community project where she runs month long community residencies on Truth Based Living in Thailand, where she has lived for the last 11 years.
Christian Pankhurst
Christian Pankhurst is globally recognized as an eminent authority on emergent group dynamics. Through the integration of various embodied modalities, he has devised a groundbreaking method to foster profound transformational spaces, employing a unique circle technology known as Heart iQ. Heart iQ is about doing deep inner work together with others in community.
This approach is both potent and intuitive, allowing the field's wisdom to steer the course, rather than the facilitator's predetermined agenda. Christian's mastery lies in imparting the art of attuning to the subtle cues within the field and deciphering group dynamics, enabling the circle itself to assume the role of the teacher. Since commencing his journey as a group facilitator in 2002, Christian has amassed an impressive 50,000 hours of teaching experience in circle at his deep dive retreats.
He had trained and certified more than 400 practitioners, facilitators, and coaches hailing from over 50 countries worldwide. Currently, he primarily teaches in the United States, UK & Europe. In 2015, Christian established and co-founded "New Eden," an idyllic transformational retreat centre nestled in the Netherlands. Spanning a breathtaking 10-acre property, this sanctuary provides an ideal backdrop for immersive and soul-stirring experiences. It serves as his spiritual haven and a sacred space where he delves into his most profound work.
The Sound Field: A Live Music Experience That Moves You, Literally
Thomas, John & Ben will be bringing a unique element into the space called the 'Sound Field'.
One of the most powerful elements of this experience is the way sound moves through the space—guiding your process, deepening your emotions, and amplifying the healing field. The Sound Field, a live instrumental band, attunes moment-to-moment to what is emerging in the group, creating deeply resonant soundscapes that unlock deeper emotional access, facilitate breakthroughs, and help integrate expanded states of consciousness—all without substances. This isn’t just music; it’s an active force in your transformation.
Retreat Registration
A Fully Immersive, All-Inclusive Retreat Experience
One application, one deposit—choose your accommodation later.
| Accommodation Type | Standard Price | Early Bird Price |
|---|---|---|
| 🏕 Camping (Bring Your Own Tent) | €2,795 | €2,295 |
| 🏡 Shared Room with Ensuite Bathroom | €2995 | €2,495 |
| 🌿 Private Room with Ensuite Bathroom | €3,195 | €2,695 |
🔥 Save €500 with Early Bird Pricing - Apply Today To Claim Your Discount 🔥
✅ All options include: full retreat tuition, meals, and applicable taxes.
💳 Payment plans available. Only a €500 deposit required to save your spot.
To begin, simply click 'Begin Your Application' below and fill out the short pre-screening questions. If all is in order, you will receive a link to pay a €500 deposit. You will then be invited to complete a more indepth trauma informed questionnaire to ensure you are a fit for this experience. Once your fulll application is approved, you can complete your registration and choose your accommodation etc. If your application is not approved, you will get your deposit back in full.
The Venue
Held at New Eden, a unique residential retreat centre surrounded by 50 acres of calm and quiet land, 90 minutes from Amsterdam.
Testimonials
